Traditional Marriage

 Abstract

Traditional marriage roles are ideal because they lessen the risk of STDs (sexually transmitted infections, or STIs), create a better sex life for the couple, and give a better home environment for children. In a modern society where lust is disguised as love, traditional marriage roles are being disregarded. The role of a husband and a wife within a marital covenant is crucial to the betterment of society and must not be forgotten.

Keywords: Traditional Marriage, Romance, Sex, Love, STDs, Home Environment

 

The Ideal Romantic Relationship

Traditional marriage roles are ideal because they lessen the risk of STDs, create a better sex life for the couple, and create a healthy environment to raise children. Sexually crazed people are not beneficial to the safety of society, however, a loving household with a mother and father is. Traditional marriage roles have many benefits, including the advancement of society, the protected health of society, and the satisfaction of society.

STD (sexually transmitted infection, or STI) Risk

The more promiscuous you are, the higher the risk of a sexually transmitted disease. The traditional idea of one man for one woman sets a boundary that avoids sicknesses. How do you avoid a sexually transmitted disease? Avoid having sex with multiple partners. Better yet, marry someone and commit to building a lasting life together. This does not mean you do not date, it means you date to commit to one person eventually, not with intentions of having lots of sex. If neither the husband nor wife has slept around, the risk of spreading STDs immediately lowers. “The chances of getting STDs are even higher if a person has unprotected sex with lots of different partners.” (Amy Anzilotti, 2020).

A STD is something you want to avoid, since it may result in life-threatening symptoms. Symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease include pelvic pain, pregnancy complications, eye inflammation, arthritis, pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, heart disease, and certain cancers, such as HPV-associated cervical and rectal cancers; the easiest way to avoid an STD is to avoid sex or sexual activity, or by staying in a long-term relationship with one person with which is your only sexual partner. (Mayo Clinic, 2023)

 

Certain STIs can be transferred from mother to child when the child is in the womb, including syphilis. STIs such as genital herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, and chlamydia, can infect the baby during labor. Commitment to one spouse protects everyone. The National Institutes of Health lists the risks of a baby getting an STD as; a low birth weight (less than 5 pounds,) eye infection, pneumonia, infection in the baby's blood, brain damage, lack of coordination in body movements, blindness, deafness, and stillbirth. Sticking to one man or woman in a marital relationship protects you, your spouse, and your children.

Better Sex-Life

Not only does traditional marriage protect the spouses, and the children, but married couples also have a more fulfilling sex life. Normative espousal creates a security that no other relationship can duplicate. Within a holy matrimony, there is mutual commitment. Each partner is secure, and need not worry whether their spouse will be there for the family. Traditional marriage is based upon mutual submission and respect, not selfishness, making it extremely different from all nonmarital sexual relations.

While same-sex couples may enjoy an emotional bond …they are unable to achieve this one-flesh union because there is no biological communion such as that achieved through procreative acts. …sex becomes merely instrumental for self-satisfying pleasure and therefore falls into the same destructive category of self-centered acts that characterize all nonmarital sex. (Michael Craven, 2021)

When a relationship is based on selflessness as opposed to selfishness, sex is also based on selflessness. Another way to phrase it might be, I do not feel like it, but I have unconditional love for you, and I want to show it. A traditional marriage is based on love, not lust, and therefore the sex is based on love instead of lust. Lust, defined by Merriam-Webster is a “usually intense or unbridled sexual desire.” In contrast, Merriam-Webster defines love as a "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties,” or, “an assurance of affection.”

Wedlock is not a stuffy, friendship-lacking, romance-absent, sexless relationship. It can be quite the opposite. Society promotes the idea that the more risqué, or audacious, the more fun it will be. But I argue that the more committed, the more trusting, the more loving the relationship, the better sex. When in a traditional marriage there is little to no fear of abandonment, so this allows the couple to be extremely vulnerable with each other. Alisa Hrustic writes “Fifty-one percent of married men report being extremely satisfied with their sex lives, compared to only 39 percent of men who just live with their partner, and 36 percent of single guys.” This is because there is more satisfaction overall when one knows their partner is committed. What could be more committed than a covenant agreement stating till death do us part? Each spouse can express their femininity or masculinity healthily within a traditional marriage. Psychology Today reports, “Compared with people who are single, cohabiting, or separated/divorced, those who are married generally report greater happiness, more emotional contentment, more spiritual fulfillment — and improved sexual satisfaction.”

Sex within marriage strengthens the bond, but extramarital sex creates confusion and uncertainty. Cohabitation pre-wedlock or engagement is proven to affect divorce rates. Scott Stanley’s and Galena Rhoades' studies show that “the marriages of those who moved in together before being engaged were 48% more likely to end than the marriages of those who only cohabited after being engaged or already married.” Cohabitation before commitment drastically affects the odds of the relationship going well. Traditionally, you would wait to cohabitate until legally wed, but today 70% of couples cohabitate before marriage, and this is affecting favorable outcomes. (Scott Stanley, 2023) The same study results stated, “Having a greater number of prior cohabiting partners is associated with a higher likelihood of marriages ending.” The more people you create sexual ties with, the less likely it is that you will acquire a solid relationship, and this is another reason holy matrimony is ideal for your sexual, mental, and physical health. The traditional engagement and marriage would avoid premarital sex, cohabitation, or financial dependence because this would be risky if the couple were unsure about their commitment to one another. A conjugal bond is the wise route to take.

A couple in a traditional relationship would wait to be 100% positive of their devotion. This is when they will have the security to enter a marital covenant in which they can become one, in the sense of sexual relations, familial relations, and financial relations. Traditional marriage creates an amazing sex life for the spouses, as they can each know that they are in a secure relationship and can be vulnerable with the other person in every way.

Children

Homes with a mother and a father create a stable environment to raise children. According to Robert Ehrlich, 90% of homeless children, 85% of children with behavioral issues, 71% of high school dropouts, and 60% of children living in poverty come from fatherless households. Daughters raised without an active father are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 71% more susceptible to teen pregnancy, 164% more likely to experience a premarital birth, and 92% more likely to divorce. (Ehrlich, 2012)

Fathers are a crucial factor in the upbringing of children, but so are mothers. Children who come from motherless homes often experience anxiety that other adults will abandon them. Brandon Gaille wrote in 2017, “In 1960, 92% of homes were headed by two parent families. Today that percentage is 67%.” A child with a mother and a father in the home is more likely to excel academically, relationally, emotionally, and in adult life. Jane Anderson writes “Divorce has been shown to diminish a child's future competence in all areas of life, including family relationships, education, emotional well-being, and future earning power.”

Statistically, children who grew up in a stable household are less likely to become criminals, as opposed to their single-parent-raised counterparts. The results of 48 studies overviewed by the Amsterdam Law and Behavior Institute (A-LAB,) the Netherlands Institute for the Study of Crime and Law Enforcement (NSCR,) and Janique Kroese showed that “growing up in single-parent families is associated with an elevated risk of involvement in crime by adolescents. … growing up in a single-parent family has negative effects on children’s emotional well-being, cognitive development, and school performance.” Normative marriages give children an example to follow.

“Married men are more productive and less dependent than unmarried men. Marriage fosters a type of engagement with others in which the husband is an active, independent provider who lives in a world of objective and often impersonal rules.” (Steven Nock, 1998, p.130). Children with traditional fathers have support, a provider, a protector, and a role model who is constantly there for them. Just as the man and woman can express themselves, the children can safely express themselves as well, creating a family-oriented type of trust that they would not have in a single-parent home due to fear of abandonment. Traditional marriage is crucial to the development of emotionally, relationally, and physically healthy children.

Traditional marriage roles are ideal because they avoid disease, create healthy, loving relationships between spouses and children, and create a safe home environment to raise children. Traditional marriage roles have numerous benefits, and we should strive to keep them while avoiding casually entering relationships, as this enhances the quality of society.

References

Anderson, J. (2014). The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of Divorce. The Linacre Quarterly, 81(4), 378–387. https://doi.org/10.1179/0024363914z.00000000087

Anzilotti, A. W. (2020, November). What Are the Chances of Having an STD? (for Teens) - Nemours KidsHealth. Kidshealth.org. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/std-odds.html#:~:text=Even%20if%20someone%20has%20only

Brigham Young University. (2020, January 16). Making the Case for Marriage. Forever Families. https://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/making-the-case-for-marriage

Craven, M. (2021, May 4). In defense of marriage: The unique benefits of traditional marriage. Crosswalk.com. https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/in-defense-of-marriage-the-unique-benefits-of-traditional-marriage-11580289.html

Ehrlich, Robert L. Jr. (2012, Feb 19). The father factor: Dads play an essential role in child-rearing, and numerous social ills can be traced to their absence. The Baltimore Sun http://proxy154.nclive.org/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/newspapers/father-factor/docview/922376592/se-2

Gaille, B. (2017, May 20). 21 compelling motherless children statistics. BrandonGaille.com. https://brandongaille.com/19-compelling-motherless-children-statistics/

Hrustic, A. (2017, February 10). Married men live longer, have better sex, and make more money. Men’s Health. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19539817/benefits-of-being-married/

Kroese, J., Bernasco, W., Liefbroer, A. C., & Rouwendal, J. (2020). Growing up in single-parent families and the criminal involvement of adolescents: a systematic review. Psychology, Crime & Law, 27(1), 1–15. https://doi.org/10.1080/1068316x.2020.1774589

Mayo Clinic. (2021, September 21). Sexually transmitted diseases (stds) - symptoms and causes. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sexually-transmitted-diseases-stds/symptoms-causes/syc-20351240

Merriam Webster. (n.d.). Definition of LUST. Www.merriam-Webster.com. Retrieved November 4, 2023, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lust

Merriam Webster. (2019). Definition of LOVE. Merriam-Webster.com. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love

Musick, K., & Bumpass, L. (2012). Reexamining the Case for Marriage: Union Formation and Changes in Well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(1), 1-18. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2011.00873.x

National Institutes of Health. (2019, January 31). Sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, and breastfeeding | office of research on women’s health. Orwh.od.nih.gov. https://orwh.od.nih.gov/research/maternal-morbidity-and-mortality/information-for-women/sexually-transmitted-infections

Nock, Steven L. Marriage in Men's Lives, Oxford University Press, Incorporated, 1998. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/rowancabarrus/detail.action?docID=272257.

Psychology Today. (2021, March 14). Sexual Satisfaction: Does Marriage Help or Hurt It? | Psychology Today. Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202103/sexual-satisfaction-does-marriage-help-or-hurt-it

Stanley, S., & Rhoades, G. (2023). What’s the plan? Cohabitation, engagement, and divorce (pp. 3–7). https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/cohabitationreportapr2023-final.pdf