Nonverbal Communication and Relationships

 Nonverbal Communication and Relationships 

Nonverbal communication is “Any communicative characteristic or behavior that intentionally or unintentionally conveys a message without the use of verbal language” (Bowman 2019). Nonverbal communication presents a message without spoken language (Bowman 2019).  

Nonverbal communication differs from verbal communication in a few ways. Verbal communication does not have to be audible, as language is simply an established set of sounds and/or motions used to communicate with others; while nonverbal communication uses those gestures outside of the bounds of language. Verbal Communication expresses feelings and thoughts using a language, nonverbal communication uses gestures, and the message conveyed may be perceived differently based on cultural differences. Nonverbal communication may not include a conscious awareness of the message one is presenting. A verbal communicator is more cognitively present with the message they are projecting. 

Common nonverbal codes of communication include; appearance, Kinesics, Oculesics, Proxemics, Haptics, Vocalics, and environmental features (Bowman 2019). Appearance, Kinesics, and Oculesics focus on more singular factors like one’s body language, eye contact, and hygiene, whereas Proxemics and Haptics focus on physical contact with others or lack thereof (Bowman 2019). Proxemics and Haptics observe distance between people and the amount and type of physical touch. Vocalics detect pitch and tone of voice or awkward silences (Bowman 2019). Environmental features include the context of a scene. One nonverbal code that can change how others perceive you is your posture. A slouched posture can come across as closed off, shy, unconfident, and nervous. On the other hand, a straight posture can present confidence, pride, comfortability, and in some scenario's a big ego. Nonverbal codes can be found in many different forms. 

Depending on cultural differences nonverbal communication can be interpreted differently by diverse people. Because nonverbal communication does not intentionally use language to send messages, the meaning behind different nonverbal codes differs from person to person. In certain cultures, greeting with a kiss on the cheek is commonplace, but in other cultures physical boundaries are set as a sign of respect. If Anita is greeting Alejandro and he goes in for a hug, she may find this offensive considering her family’s more physically reserved background. A misunderstanding could easily occur in a situation like this. Building relationships in an Indian culture may have different steppingstones than in an American culture, or a Chinese culture, so it is important to be aware of how our nonverbal cues are being perceived. 

Relationship-maintaining behaviors are extremely important when keeping relationships healthy and thriving. Common ways we can care for our relationships include; positivity, understanding, self-disclosure, relationship talks, assurances, tasking, and networks (Bowman 2019). I view all these behaviors as extremely important in caring for relationships with those closest to you, but I would say understanding one another is a huge part of healthy relationships. It is not understanding in a way that does not encourage improvement, but understanding in a way that says we will be there before, during, and after the change. “Understanding, involves relational partners who accept one another for who they are and attempt to engage in perspective taking to know where they are coming from” (Bowman 2019). 

Three types of relational tensions exist that can cause disputes in relationships; connection and autonomy, predictability and novelty, openness and closedness (Bowman 2019). Connection and autonomy conflict can occur when one partner sees the other as their teammate, their other half, and the other does not. A predictability and novelty tension can occur when one partner feels like they are in a rut and have become comfortable in the relationship, they want to experience something new. Something novel. Relational partners “must decide how much information they want to share with one another” (Bowman 2019), and one person may be ready to share more than the other leading to conflict. This is an example of openness and closedness. Sarah loves talking to Candy, she feels she can be open with her and sees her as a teammate; her best friend. Candy does not feel comfortable self-disclosing with Sarah because she overheard her talking behind her back. This is an example of an openness closedness conflict. Another scenario: Ginny and Robert have been married for 30 years now. Every morning Robert comes home and sits down on the couch after work, and Ginny starts making supper. Ginny tells Robert she is tired of making supper every night and wants to eat out, but Robert refuses because he likes their routine. This is an example of predictability and novelty tension. These types of conflict can have a significant impact on our relationships if we do not practice relationship-maintaining behaviors and become aware of how our nonverbal communication is perceived. 

 

Works Cited 

Bowman, Jonathan M. Interpersonal Communication: Interconnections Foundations and Contexts. MindTap - Cengage Learning, 2019. https://ng.cengage.com/static/nb/ui/evo/index.html?deploymentId=5799847154192693996956595&eISBN=9781337554121&id=1986405705&snapshotId=3798006.